Love and Fear

I am sometimes placed in a situation where I need to make a quick decision as to how much I am willing to put myself out there for someone else.  These people are usually strangers before they stepped into our center.  They are almost always women who are in situations that make everything rumble inside of me as I hear their story unfold.  The conversations are always time sensitive.  Each word I say must always count.

By nature (and a bit of nurture) I am a critical thinker first, a feeler second.  I very rarely allow my emotions to trump my thoughts.  When feelings do bubble up inside, I tend to trust them automatically on the simple understanding that if my feeling can override my thought process, it should be right.  ( I am not openly recommending this to everyone, as I know only myself.  Everyone has their own way of handling themselves, because we are all different!  Please understand this.) I tend to think of it more as a woman’s intuition thing. In many situations, a Holy Spirit thing.  So when I feel the desperate need to open my heart and give with my hands to those in need, I do it without question.

But then the time comes afterward when I think back on the things I gave (my personal phone number, a commitment of extra work, the promise of a safe haven in crisis…) and I start to think about my other responsibilities.  The safety of my family.  The approval of my husband.  My actual ability to do all of my responsibilities well.  I know I did the right thing, but afterward I can easily be tempted by my own thoughts of regret, even though I KNOW I did what was right.

After a similar situation, I took a quick mental break and checked a few blogs that I often frequent.  This Post on Like A Warm Cup of Coffee met me and I just soaked it in for a second.  The questioning thoughts disappeared.  It was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.  Isn’t that wonderful? It very rarely happens to me, but when it does.. it just amazes me!  I hope that the simple and truthful post fills you up as well.  After reading it I actually wrote “Human Flesh Despises True Love” on my calendar under my keyboard at work.  What a great reminder to see every time I set an appointment or search for a client name.



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3 responses to “Love and Fear

  1. Great thoughts Arianna, As someone who has spent the past two years trying to “love” a needy person into a place in the Kingdom of God I would like to add some balance. Love must be balanced with truth. We choose to take the risk when we love knowing that the object of our love may not be operating on the same principles as we are. You can and probably will get used all the time if you choose love. (That doesn’t mean not to choose it…it’s just a healthy thing to remember.) This doesn’t mean that “love fails” …we both know it doesn’t…the love we give out does it’s work on us even if it doesn’t appear to “work” with the one we view as so needy. Sometimes it takes me time to recognize that God is doing His own work of love in the heart of the needy by exposing them to some harsh truth. I read a quote yesterday that I impressed me. “A truth that hurts today heals tomorrow; A lie that helps today haunts tomorrow.” …I don’t know who said it but it encouraged me. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for a person is make them face the reality of the consequences of their own choices so true healing can start and right choices be made. This comment is getting too long. Just sharing some of my thoughts in a fresh journey I’m on this week.

    • Thank you for your comment. I agree with what you have said. It can be hard to tell some one the truth and watch them continue living in a destructive way over and over despite what you have said to them. But it is their journey and they must decide on their own to change.

      My biggest challenge has always been offering my home as a safe haven for those who are in possible domestic violence situations that will not make a current plan and leave. Along those lines are also the women who may not be physically beaten but have been shown their “unworthiness” by those around them and have no place to go sometimes. I always worry for a bit that I might be endangering my family by bringing these situations into my home, but then I remember that we are doing what is right, and showing love. As long as I remind myself whose commandments I follow (and use good judgment) I know we will be “alright”. But that does not stop my doubts from sprouting up every once and awhile. It is something I am working on.

      • Before I was married and living in an apt. w/ a friend we took a homeless lady in. She stayed with us for about a week and then we bought her a train ticket to where she had some relatives. After she left we were changing the linens and found a butcher knife under her pillow. YIKES! But we think she was mentally ill and was just as much afraid of us and that she had gotten that out of the drawer in order to pro-tect herself while sleeping. I’m not sure we helped her alot but at least she slept in peace for a week and ate good. We just had a guy over here last night helping Scott pour some cement so he could make some money (the guy is out of work). They were working in the back yard and I thought “wonder if they are casing out the place”. He had his girlfriend with him and I invited her in but she declined. The man has made a profession of faith and I think he is doing well and sincere but his girlfriend has not and ..I think she is still a little nervous and unsure. Oh well. You are right we must love…and be as wise and serpents and as harmless as doves! We bought them some pizza and took them home but I did have a bad dream last night about someone breaking in the house. ….so it must have affected my subconscious!

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