Authority, Respect, & Love For Other Women

When we think on respecting the  authority  of married men, do we think of their wives and how our actions play into our relationship with them?

Here is my question- When we openly attack a married man (many times when he is speaking to our husbands, or other men on a “debatable” topic) are we really harming him with our words, or the  relationship  we have with his wife?

From most of what I personally see, men in general let comments from other women roll off their backs.  It comes and goes and they move on.  But for some women, especially women who have chosen to put themselves under the  authority  of their husband, a rude remark or a rough comment directed to our husbands feels directed to us as well- for we chose to be under  authority  of that man! And if this woman is saying something openly negative or uncomfortably brazen to our husband, what is she saying about us, who submits to him?

This can fit under the overlying idea of a woman’s goal for a “quiet spirit”, one that is not emotionally charged to speak before thinking and to act with grace under fire.  But I am thinking more about choosing an act of respect for other women, by not  attacking  or  belittling their husband publicly.   It can be an act of love towards other women.

Has anyone had experience or conversations about this before?  I am wondering if it is an example that most will say concerns only the most sensitive types of people, and not a general way to show  kindness.